Healing can get pretty messy at times…

Well hello you amazing being, you.  With your full potential.  With all your faults, with all the great things you bring to this earth.  Today’s blog is about being okay feeling human.

When I share my story, sometimes I say key words such as, “Every master was once a disaster.”  Or…”Let your mess become your message.”  Or even “There is no testimony without a test.”

Well, today’s journal entry starts with…

“I am the master of my disaster.”  I hate to write this but my reality is not quite showing the miracles I manifested before, at least not that fast.  I’m confused, scared, and parts of me want to quit.  Other parts of me keep going,  inspired and grateful to find a new level of strength and a higher version of me, with new gifts coming from this pause.

God has gifted me with this journey for a reason.

And I’m ready.  For whatever comes next.

It may not be wrapped with a perfect bow and gold foil, but regardless, it will be my miracle.

Last night I looked and felt inside my jaw, and still felt the tumor.  Feelings of fear come in, scared to take and face my X-rays next month.  What if nothing improves?  What if things get worse?  I have these tough feelings in my stomach.  Fear.  Anxiety.  They are very loud today.  I question myself.  Sorrow comes along.  Anguish.  Oh boy how I love you all.  Feelings.   I once read a book called “Feelings Buried Alive.”  Have you ever experienced emotions and pushed them in instead of allowing them to play the course?  I battle to keep my heart open through this and allow the emotions to flow, rather than push them in and bury them, which just causes more illness.

Did I do something wrong?  Did I eat too much sugar?  I hardly eat it and I eat the healthier kind…but the King of doubt sure pays me a visit and the Queen of beating myself up shows up…

I start to wonder.  Did I eat too much unhealthy food while on the road?  Did I overwhelm myself too much?  Did I take on too many projects?  Did I do too much — or not enough?  And cause myself too much stress? Did I not do enough of that — but too much of this –?

Have you ever found yourself there?  One judgement and doubt invites others in and all of the sudden a pity party starts…creating an emotional rollercoaster and tears come down my eyes…then I remember I am doing what we call “the toilet flush” when one negative thought starts bringing another and another and another…and before you know it, you’re swimming in dark emotions and can’t seem to find your way out.

More questions than answers come in…how could I have claimed my miracle last year but now regressed?  What did I do or did not do?  Self doubt continues to walk in.  In that moment, my years of dedication to personal and spiritual growth walk out.

And then a hint of inspiration walks in.  Because I pause the toilet flush and ask:  “Where’s the gift?”  I have this question in my calendar as a daily task/event so it will constantly remind me to unflush my mental toilet and reverse negative thinking into blessings and lessons…

Where’s the gift in any chaos or tough situation you encounter?  Type your thoughts under the comments, I’m curious to know what gifts you have received from tough situations…your gifts will help others…and bless me in the process too…

And when that hint of inspiration walks in, a strong remembrance shows up.  That it’s all in perfect alignment with the highest and best good for my soul.  That this universe is so perfect and balanced that my Creator would never abandon me.  And that I am a spiritual being having a human experience on this planet.

The world “human” resonates in my heart.  It resonates because I remember it’s okay to be human.  And feel the fear.  And experience those emotions.

Inspiration and guidance always walk in next.

You are going through this because there’s a gift, a lesson and a blessing in it for you, and the world you live in.

You, becoming a stronger human through this, can bless more along the way as you conquer these challenges.

You, becoming a stronger woman, can empower more women along their journey.

You, becoming a stronger person, can flow more abundance into the world, if you have experienced the polarity of both sides of the equation:  crisis and miracles.

Your being human is what makes you great.

Your challenge is what brings your gift.

Your self love is what continues the healing to come in and creates your fate.

Yes, it’s time to let your mess become your message.

And yes, it’s messy.  It’s chaotic. It’s fiery.  But it’s you.  And one day —  you will laugh and share with others, how one day too their mess will become their message.

About Yvette Ulloa

Yvette Ulloa, the fiery Latina was born in NY and currently lives in California. Yvette is passionate about health/fitness, travelling the world full time, and teaching others to achieve success! Yvette Ulloa has been through a journey of challenges, however they have turned out to be some of the biggest blessings in her life. She has been happily married for 16 years to the love of her life Dave Ulloa, a former professional basketball player in Australia and self-made entrepreneur. Yvette's philosophies are all about contribution, sharing lessons from her journey with others, and she is lucky to travel around the world inspiring people with her story. She has spoken to audiences as big as 12,000 in Vegas, South Africa, Hungary, Greece and many other places, where she is highly acclaimed speaker and coach. In 2010, Yvette Ulloa and her husband Dave Ulloa achieved one of their life-long dreams to travel the world with Anthony Robbins and become Platinum Partners. They got to experience a whole year of immersion in Scotland, Egypt, Israel, Fiji and get personally mentored by Tony Robbins. One of Yvette's biggest passions is helping women around the world to believe in themselves and have a voice. She will reach out her hand to you to help you climb up to the top of the mountain! And nothing like enjoying the journey and making many pit stops to smell the roses. The coffee. The challenges. Anything that makes you grow and enjoy life. Dave & Yvette Ulloa are also professional tourists and ambassadors of fun. Dave Ulloa recently got back from climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, the highest free standing mountain in the world, at 19,000 altitude, one of the toughests and most rewarding activities of his life. Dave and Yvette Ulloa are Presidential Advisory Council members for the largest travel social media company one of the top 100 direct sales companies in the globe, WorldVentures. They were honored in front of thousands of people in Las Vegas for achieving the highest rank in the company, International Marketing Directors, being the first Latino couple to achieve this rank, as well as being the first team of both International trainers and speakers.
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10 Responses to Healing can get pretty messy at times…

  1. Suzy Perlmutter says:

    I go through day today with all these fires and stuff to handle everything seems so complicated and very weighted down and now I know that I’m not alone dealing with a lot of Crisis is and I know there’s a gift in it but I wonder what my gift is I really do cuz it’s everyday that I battled with complexity of problems Yvette I just wish you the best and the best healing and I pray for you

  2. Today I begin a new life. Letting go of my perfectionism and knowing that doing “my very best” is good enough. That God gives me His grace and so I don’t have to earn or deserve anything…it is just all a gift. Knowing that sometimes I get pushed to the edge, so as to take the leap of faith to find the blessing. Otherwise I would miss it, because I would wait where it might seem more comfortable. Remembering that I can attach any feeling to any thought I have…it is my choice. Forgiveness starts with me, forgiving me. The pain still pops up with fear coming close behind. So I remind myself, “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy.” We are God’s greatest miracle. Thank you for your transparent and honest words Yvette, they bless me abundantly.

  3. Greg Boek says:

    Thank you Yvette for sharing the reality of your challenges. I’m going through my own challenges and needed to hear you say to look for the gift in this situation. And the gift is that I will be stronger because of this. It doesn’t feel like it at the moment. But I’m pressing on.

    • Yvette Ulloa says:

      Dear greg, thank you for posting such beautiful words. Just the point of accepting where you are, is already a gift to yourself that something is healing, something is changig, that you’re getting upgraded to a better version of yourself, and everything that you ever wanted or asked for, is on the other side of courage and faith. One thing that helped me in some of the darkest hours is putting a daily reminder (like a calendar item) that would pop up and say: courage, strength and faith are your daily actions. So whenever I was starting to get into a downward spiral, this would pop up. Another reminder I have as a daily item in my calendar, is: what are 5 things you’re grateful for? And so when this popped up, I went into the focus of love, rather than the one of worry…

      I honor you my friend and know is that’s there’s a huge, bright light at the end of the tunnel! Sending you much love and stay in touch on social media! ?

  4. Willie Myers says:

    Yvette, thank you for the email to access your blog. Where’s the gift in any chos I’ve encountered? I’ve had to do a lot of self growth. My life changed on September 26, 2014, but let me start from the beginning. I’m a father of 6. 4 girls ages 27,22,18 & 11 and 2 boys ages 19 and 11.

    I worked for the government, assigned overseas providing diplomatic security and personal recovery services and protecting US Ambassadors in Iraq and Afghanistan of which I spent 10 yrs. In June of 2014 l was notified that I was selected for a new post assignment on the US Consulate Protection Detail in Jersulaem Israel.

    After arriving and starting my last post, my plans were to put in 2 yrs and then call it a career. Well my life changed on September 26,2014 when I was critically injured preparing for an up coming physical fitness test. I was just completing a 200 meter swim in the Mediterranean Sea in Tel Aviv just outside the US Embassy.

    I was hit by an undertow and as I went under water, another wave slammed me down striking my head on the ocean floor. When I was rescued I was found in cardiac arrest. I was in a coma for 2 days. When I woke up on September 28,2014 I realized I couldn’t move from the neck down. I had sustained a C-4 Spinal Cord Contusion. I would be flown back to the United States 6 days later and would spend almost 6 months in the Shepherd Center Rehab Facility to learn how to move arms and legs.

    I’ve had my trials after loosing my insurance I wasn’t able to continue physical therapy
    I spent months without Physical Therapy until a private institution that supports contractors called the Shadow Warriors Project heard of my story which was on FoxNews and they were able to get me back in therapy.

    I don’t know why this has happened but I like to think my purpose is to help and inspire others. As I go through the pain of physical therapy to return to my feet, l believe that others will learn and benefit from my Journey

    I appreciate you Yvette, I pray for you.

    Willie Myers

    • Yvette Ulloa says:

      Wow Willie…you are a strong, powerful, incredible human being. Thank you for sharing your story. Your story has beyond inspired me. I had chills reading it and instantly I knew you have a huge, higher purpose for your life, to inspire others and help them believe it’s possible, as you claim your miracle along the way. Wow my brother, if you’re open, I’d like to submit prayers for you, I’m a member of this beautiful church and thousands will pray for your not only full recovery, but for you to step into full purpose and keep inspiring so many…yvette@yvetteulloa send me your name address and birthdate if you’re open to thousands praying for you my brother…and thank you. In the midst of my darkness your story added so much hope, inspiration and sunshine…sending you so much love!

  5. Great Morning Yvette
    Blessings to you and your family. My name is Dorothea Dot Norman and I’m a part of our amazing organization. I’m a Loving Pastor that resides in Georgia. Thank you for sharing a part of you with us ? Have you heard about SOZO’s. It’s Spiritual Healing. I’ believe in miracles and healings. We have a Church in Redding, California. I would love to share more with you. And my prayer is that you have a Heavenly experience with our amazing Father God as you lay your head on your pillow and allow Him to love on you as the Holy Spirit walks with you. My email is disciplesonthewalk@bellsouth.net.


    • Yvette Ulloa says:

      Thank you so much Ms Dorothea for your beautiful words and offering this beautiful style of healing I’ve never heard of! I’m all ears and would love to find out. I’ll send you an email ?

  6. Yvette, as you go through the different stages of your Hero’s Journey, all I see is master, not disaster. Shine on, my beautiful friend. Your courage and authenticity continue to be an example an inspiration for the world.

    • Yvette Ulloa says:

      Thank you my dear friend. I appreciate your words…these last few days have been particularly tough, which means I’m about to have a big breakthrough. Thank you for your love…

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